It's 10:46pm and I am about to call it a night. Always a good idea to get some zzz's before starting a new week, especially after one such as this. To be honest I narrowly avoided a breakdown today by canceling lunch plans and curling up with a hot water bottle for a much needed nap (there wasn't electricity, and the gas heater had run out of fuel, bed seemed like a logical conclusion). This past Sunday I found out that my Chum Chummali puppy, Kalek, was run over by a family friend who was so remorseful that he couldn't even say hi at church.
A busy week continued, and on Thursday we had a lunch for our morning women (which did go well) but I managed to ruin my favorite pants and sweater by dumping a sauce carrying the very non forgiving ingredients of mustard and melted butter in them. Not entirely a big deal, but mix some sleep deprived-ness (coffee drunk at inopportune moments mixed with me being a night owl to begin with = said results). Mix more freezing temperatures (if you know me at all you know how I feel about being cold), boiling water being poured over my hand while trying to fill the water bottle again along with the arrival of Aunt Flo...and you have last night. This morning seemed to be the last straw as I needed to make a snack for church as well as prepare for worship and all I wanted to do was pull my flannel sheets over my head and refuse the world access. I was hoping that as I entered church I would be overtaken by a sense of peaceful euphoria, that I would be filled with that bubbly "God is SO good" joy you picture perfect wives have while taking apple pies out to cool, shuffling a little slower due to their own bun in the oven. It didn't happen. Sound set up took longer than anticipated, wires were left home and hat to be retrieved, and my vocal chords refused to be coaxed out of the "light me another cigarette, I'll be here all week" range. However, despite all this and the blender of emotions that was my heart, God managed to poke some holes through.
Before my nap I was reading a book from my friend Katie and the chapter was all about how we strive for God and human's affection and approval. When I came over here I wanted to be super woman, live up to everyone's expectations, blossoming into a new, deeper person, fulfilling something wonderful that I was sure God was just waiting to do through me. Oh, he's changing me alright. I hate it [the process that is]. I do want people's approval, and you know, its a really fickle thing. For those of you who think you're beyond all that, imagine what it would be like if you truly didn't have people's approval. The world's answer to this all is to just have mounds of self-confidence and a "you can't touch this" soundtrack for life. I'm looking elsewhere.
I feel as though I am running the risk of sounding emo (plus its just plain humbling to want to scream LISTEN TO ME, I'M IN PAIN! rather than be the girl who get's to do the reassuring and pious "just wait upon the LORD"-ing). Special music tonight was "I Surrender All" and that is where I am. I'm pretty sure the mood of the song is more inclined to the imagery of handing your life peaceably over to God, but I'm also pretty sure that He will take me, as I run down the valley screaming "I SURRENDER" with a white flag jetting out behind.
Saturday, 6 February 2010
Monday, 4 January 2010
I can see Iran from my roof...
Just kidding. What I can see are mountains all around, lately dipped in snow like a baker who underestimated her need for frosting. Everything is a matte color except for the sunsets, the ever popular year round strings of lights over businesses, and bright houses dotted throughout the more sedate shades of concrete. Kurds love bright colors and I am anticipating the spring where they attempt to rival nature with their Naw Roz celebration. This is their New Year's celebration, and pretty much the whole month is taken up with picnicking, dressing up in traditional Kurdish clothing and celebrating in other ways.
We live on a busy street, Bahktiari, and are known as the "Hganew Sour Acca", or "the Red House". People don't have addresses here, so to reach my house by taxi I would say "Mizgoat Bahktiari" which refers to the mosque locate up our street. After passing that landmark you would just keep muttering "rake" (with a rolled r) which means straight until our house comes in sight. There are ducons, or small shops up and down the street with produce and other odds n ends, such as cheap bb guns that can shoot through pop cans. We have our ducan across the street and are quite faithful to him, minus for produce (Cheryl has a guy down the street who absolutely dotes on her and brings out better fruits and veggies from the back).
Sometimes I can't see the mountains, when it is a dusty day. You can tell its going to be dusty from the moment you wake up, the air is heavy, and Cheryl and I usually get headaches from the pressure. It' still been in the 50's during the day, though at night its pretty chilly. I've earned the nickname "refugee" for all the layers I parade around the house in.
I've been asked, "What is the hardest thing you have done out there?" To be honest, my life isn't hard. Sure, hot water and electricity is not a given, but its not anything to be called a hardship. The language barrier is a big one, but I know that with enough time, it can be overcome. The biggest challenge I have had to deal with is myself. I am used to living on my own, dictating what I want to do, and being able to get away whenever I feel like it. Being a wayfaring 20-something has its high points, you add a car into that mix and it feels like freedom. However, it seems as though the lesson of the year is to plant my feet in the sand and just be here, in my heart, my mind, and with love. I get frustrated sometimes, with students, with friends, and I want to just book it for a while or to "just do it". I can teach class, have conversations, and spend time with others without it coming from the heart. They might not even notice. But I know someone who always knows, and its his approval I want the most. You know, its easy to say that, I'm working for a "well done, good and faithful servant" but its how that belief permeates your life that proclaims its truth or your shallowness.
We live on a busy street, Bahktiari, and are known as the "Hganew Sour Acca", or "the Red House". People don't have addresses here, so to reach my house by taxi I would say "Mizgoat Bahktiari" which refers to the mosque locate up our street. After passing that landmark you would just keep muttering "rake" (with a rolled r) which means straight until our house comes in sight. There are ducons, or small shops up and down the street with produce and other odds n ends, such as cheap bb guns that can shoot through pop cans. We have our ducan across the street and are quite faithful to him, minus for produce (Cheryl has a guy down the street who absolutely dotes on her and brings out better fruits and veggies from the back).
Sometimes I can't see the mountains, when it is a dusty day. You can tell its going to be dusty from the moment you wake up, the air is heavy, and Cheryl and I usually get headaches from the pressure. It' still been in the 50's during the day, though at night its pretty chilly. I've earned the nickname "refugee" for all the layers I parade around the house in.
I've been asked, "What is the hardest thing you have done out there?" To be honest, my life isn't hard. Sure, hot water and electricity is not a given, but its not anything to be called a hardship. The language barrier is a big one, but I know that with enough time, it can be overcome. The biggest challenge I have had to deal with is myself. I am used to living on my own, dictating what I want to do, and being able to get away whenever I feel like it. Being a wayfaring 20-something has its high points, you add a car into that mix and it feels like freedom. However, it seems as though the lesson of the year is to plant my feet in the sand and just be here, in my heart, my mind, and with love. I get frustrated sometimes, with students, with friends, and I want to just book it for a while or to "just do it". I can teach class, have conversations, and spend time with others without it coming from the heart. They might not even notice. But I know someone who always knows, and its his approval I want the most. You know, its easy to say that, I'm working for a "well done, good and faithful servant" but its how that belief permeates your life that proclaims its truth or your shallowness.
Saturday, 7 November 2009
Dignity, always dignity...
(Reference to Singing in the Rain...)
In the Past Week I have:
P.s. the picture is from an intense round of musical chairs played at the LIFE Center. Work hard, play hard, that's the motto.
In the Past Week I have:
- Crashed a Kurdish wedding. It was outdoors, as was our picnic, and who could pass up some dancing, taking pictures with the Bride and Groom, plus being on their wedding video. Years from now they will still wonder who, how, and WHY?
- Danced '80s style while singing "Staying Alive" as electricity currents cause the lights to flash like a strobe.
- Marched halfway up a mountain in order to find a suitable place to go to the bathroom. Scattered boulders do not to the job as well as think underbrush. You win this one New York.
- Almost died laughing silently after a student in my class raised his hand repeatedly to ask questions, unfortunately in the manner usually reserved for saluting communist dictators.
- Finished the room! Well, minus a painting involving a tree and a reading penguin for our reading corner. However, the carpet is installed, the walls are painted, the candles are hung. Hello, little abode.
P.s. the picture is from an intense round of musical chairs played at the LIFE Center. Work hard, play hard, that's the motto.
Monday, 26 October 2009
This Blog Needs A Little Love...
and a few more entries.
These past couple of days we have had a small, 5 year old Arabic-speaking girl staying with us while her parents were away. Now, they are hard enough to control, but when they don't speak your language, it can be insane. Thankfully Cheryl and Darrell speak fluently, so when they were around, all was relatively well. Grace had a ridiculous sense of humor though, we had many fun times teaching her bits and pieces of English or dancing around the kitchen. You could always count on something random happening, like being patted down before you were allowed to head off to class...I wonder what she was searching for. She also happened to be somewhat of a clepto, if you needed to find something, say all four of the remote controls, the first stop to check was her purse.
We went to the "Universal Circus" which has be residing near us for the past three months. A small, one ring affair, it provided a good amount of entertainment (the acrobats were amazing) plus a few unsought thrills (the tiny bear attacked the ring master, no one was really harmed, though there were a couple minutes when everyone was eying the exits. There was no fence separating the audience from the animals...) Overall I came away from the experience wanting to get in shape a. so I could do acrobatics, b. so I can outrun the local wildlife.
English lessons continue to go well, and correcting the papers are always a source of hilarity. I'll include some choice phrases in my next entry. Someday I would like to tape a section of the class, to see just how funny I actually look as I attempt to mime my way through more difficult parts of the English language. The last class was about emotions and body language, which involved a lot of dancing around and exclaiming. Coffee is becoming more of a must in life. Also, if anyone out there is a whiz at grammar, please contact me. I thought I was doing alright with the basic noun, verb, object rule...but then indirect objects and other assortments of verbs made their way into the lesson, mostly due to a man in the back who can't speak fluent English, but could most likely teach a college grammar class. He is running circles around me.
Once again,
thank you for all of your support,
more to come...
-Sarah
These past couple of days we have had a small, 5 year old Arabic-speaking girl staying with us while her parents were away. Now, they are hard enough to control, but when they don't speak your language, it can be insane. Thankfully Cheryl and Darrell speak fluently, so when they were around, all was relatively well. Grace had a ridiculous sense of humor though, we had many fun times teaching her bits and pieces of English or dancing around the kitchen. You could always count on something random happening, like being patted down before you were allowed to head off to class...I wonder what she was searching for. She also happened to be somewhat of a clepto, if you needed to find something, say all four of the remote controls, the first stop to check was her purse.
We went to the "Universal Circus" which has be residing near us for the past three months. A small, one ring affair, it provided a good amount of entertainment (the acrobats were amazing) plus a few unsought thrills (the tiny bear attacked the ring master, no one was really harmed, though there were a couple minutes when everyone was eying the exits. There was no fence separating the audience from the animals...) Overall I came away from the experience wanting to get in shape a. so I could do acrobatics, b. so I can outrun the local wildlife.
English lessons continue to go well, and correcting the papers are always a source of hilarity. I'll include some choice phrases in my next entry. Someday I would like to tape a section of the class, to see just how funny I actually look as I attempt to mime my way through more difficult parts of the English language. The last class was about emotions and body language, which involved a lot of dancing around and exclaiming. Coffee is becoming more of a must in life. Also, if anyone out there is a whiz at grammar, please contact me. I thought I was doing alright with the basic noun, verb, object rule...but then indirect objects and other assortments of verbs made their way into the lesson, mostly due to a man in the back who can't speak fluent English, but could most likely teach a college grammar class. He is running circles around me.
Once again,
thank you for all of your support,
more to come...
-Sarah
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Top 6 Accomplishments Today
1. Taught a class of nine men, no women.
2. Taught a class of nine men, no women, and didn't have to run to the bathroom in the middle of it.
3. Taught a class of nine men, no women, and didn't have to run to the bathroom in the middle of it and didn't pass out.
4. Can now write my name in Arabic.
5. Co-taught a class of six women.
6. Got my second visa, guess who get's to stay in Suli!
Thank you God for your mercy!
Quotes of the week...
I like little baby lambs...in my stomach.
How many legs does a centipede have?
I don't think it has a particular amount.
Oh yes it does...like a million.
2. Taught a class of nine men, no women, and didn't have to run to the bathroom in the middle of it.
3. Taught a class of nine men, no women, and didn't have to run to the bathroom in the middle of it and didn't pass out.
4. Can now write my name in Arabic.
5. Co-taught a class of six women.
6. Got my second visa, guess who get's to stay in Suli!
Thank you God for your mercy!
Quotes of the week...
I like little baby lambs...in my stomach.
How many legs does a centipede have?
I don't think it has a particular amount.
Oh yes it does...like a million.
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